Diary of a Flute Player
by Bandgirlflute
Summary: This is the diary of a flute player during marching band. It's random nosiness, but it's funny if you are in marching band cause you know that you do the same things too. Just a one shot.
1. Part:1

Author's Note: Ok so this is a diary of a flute player in marching band. It's random nosiness, but when is marching band not. I got the idea from an author named Spacepotatoe, but mine is different. Also, I just want to say that I like every instrument in the band. So if I make fun of an instrument that you play, please don't take it in a bad way. Anyway, hope you like it!

Diary of a Flute Player 

Day one: Band camp started. Met up with other flutes. Made fun of the low brass. Drum major is hot.

Day two: Made fun of new members. Ducked taped a Baritone player to a chair, left him on the football field. Came up with the flute theme song, blew bubbles and memorized by them. Low brass is evil.

Day three: Baritone still on football field. Stole the can of tuna. Gained a new best friend, my flute. Shoved a trumpet in a locker. Drum major is still hot.

Day four: Wishing that I were an Oscar Mayer Weener. Tackled the band director. Hide the color guards flags, running from the color guards. Stuck flute up uniform, came up with the retarded duck. Flutes did the hoky poky and the chicken dance. Trumpet player still in the locker.

Day seven: Other trumpet players looking for lost trumpet. Flute is really shiny. Finding a Baritone attractive, makes me want to throw up. Killed a football player and cheerleader. Drum major took his shirt off, flutes players started to drool.

Day ten: Marched for eight hours, longing to hurt the band director, must resist. Had a light saber fight with a clarinet, Mormons are funny. Drew Bob the fox and Philip the penguin.

Day fifteen: Football players and cheerleaders came after us, convinced them that it was the low brass who killed them, low brass section leader is carried off. Learned how to do the alien sigh with fingers. Found out that drum major is dating a cheerleader.

Day twenty: Killed drum major's cheerleader girlfriend, comfort drum major. Lit saxophones plume on fire. Dirty danced to Pirates of the Caribbean CD. Caught clarinet section leader making out with the tuba player, eeww. Tackled the band director again. Clarinets and Saxophones are wood suckers, brass players are medal blowers, silent giggles.

Day twenty-five: Silly stringed the trombone players, trombone players threw water at us. Watched as a trombone player got hit in the head while doing trombone suicide, laughed until I cried.

Day thirty: pretend to know my music. Low brass section leader found wearing a cheerleader outfit. Stole the piccolo from section leader, used piccolo to annoy the Saxes. Duck tape is shiny.


	2. Part:2

Author's Note: Ok so I decided to add another chapter even though I put it first as a one shot story, but I decide to add three more chapters on. Reminder, I still like every instrument there is, if I make fun of the one you play, please don't take it personal. Thank you to the fifteen reviews that I got for my first chapter! Anyway, here is chapter 2, enjoy!

Diary of a Flute Player: Part 2 

**Day 1: **Went to band camp, made fun of the new people. Drum Major is hoootttttt!!!! Must resist tackling him and making out with him.

**Day 2: **Did circle drill, hate circles now. Found out that Section Leader is obsessed with the pancreas, weird. Found tuba section leader making out with freshmen trumpet player, shudders.

**Day 3: **Flutes did the YMCA and the electric slide, getting weird looks from the low brass, low brass is evil.

**Day 5: **Shoved saxophone player into the piano. Ducked taped a trumpet to a pole, leaving trumpet player, hearing trumpet player yelling.

**Day 7: **Trombone player got hit in the head with the wall ball, laughed until I cried. Hid section leaders flute in the tuba, section leader freaking out. Tangoed to the Titanic CD, tripped over partner's feet.

**Day 10: **Drum Major is still hot, sigh. Band director tackled me, he must still be mad about me tackling him, freak. Tried to tackle band director, missed band director, tackled the chair next to him.

**Day 14: **Played hide and go seek in the dark, bad idea, couples hid together. Saxophone player still in the piano. Hearing faint yelling, who's yelling?

**Day 18: **Play truth or dare with other band geeks, baritone dared to brush teeth with a clarinet player toe, shudder. Gags as baritone brushes teeth.

**Day 22: **Hear rumor that a football player is trying to pass off as a band geek, must find him! Got hit in the head with the wall ball, not funny anymore.

**Day 26: **Still looking for the couples from hide and go seek. Tried to break window with highest note on the flute, still working on that. Section leader found flute in tuba. Section leader is chasing after me and trying to kill me.

**Day 28: **Found football player, never stood a chance. Hearing banging from the piano, what in the world? Still running from section leader.

**Day 31: **Broke window with highest note on the flute, getting glares from janitor. Found the couples from hide and go seek. Still hearing yelling and banging from the piano, wonder what's making those noises, oh well.


	3. Part 3

**Author's Note: **Ok so here is part 3_** of**_** Diary of a Flute Player. **A big thanks to all of the people who had reviewed! Here is part 3, enjoy!

**Diary of a Flute Player**

**Part: 3**

**Day 1: **Band camp started, Drum Major isn't hot, silently crying. Flute section starts to cry too. Tortured new freshmen, made flute section feel slightly better about Drum Major.

**Day 2: **New Freshmen are stupid, told them tuba player would come after them. Scared Freshmen, ha ha ha, cough.

**Day 5: **Did diamond cutters, saxophone player got hit in the head with a tuba. Laughed until I cried, got dirty looks from sax player. Learned that Director says meow instead of now, strange.

**Day 9: **Salsa danced to Star Wars, getting weird looks from cheerleaders, must kill them. Painted field with glow in the dark paint, baseball players didn't like that.

**Day 12: **Drum Major hitting on horn player, must find him a girlfriend. Band Director tripped over drum, silently giggling behind his back.

**Day 14: **Big dust storm, MUST SAVE THE FLUTES! Ran into the baseball dug out, pushing little freshmen and baritones out of the way. Found a bottle of soap, blew bubbles. Trumpets are jealous of my bubbles.

**Day 17: **Still haven't found the couples from hide and go seek from first entry. I'm pretty sure they will never be found. Found lost trombone player in the locker, trombone section leader was very happy to see her.

**Day 20: **Shared practice field with football players. We all decide we will fight them for the field. Decided that the flutes and clarinets are arrows and that the larger instruments are cannons.



**Day 21: **Still plotting our attack. Freshman flute player almost made friends with a drama kid, almost. The other flute players and I saved her, must keep her inside of the marching band bubble!!

**Day 23: **Football players knew that we were coming, saw our plumes over the hill. Threw footballs at us.

**Day 26: **Battle of marching band vs. football is over, marching band won, yea!! Killed all of the football players! Had competition next day, dang!! Many of us are sore, well more than usual.


	4. Part:4

**Author's Note: **Ok so here is the last chapter of** Diary of a Flute Player.** Thank you to all of those people who reviewed! Here is chapter 4, enjoy!

**Diary of a Flute Player**

**Part 4**

**Day 1: **Band camp started, sees the hottest drum major, yummy! Made fun of low brass, freshmen, and band director. Second tuba player gives up marching band for lamas. Jerk!

**Day 2: **Dislikes girl drum major, hangs out a lot with guy drum major. Band director promised us a water break. Ha! Yea right!

**Day 3: **Flutes start to believe that the director was drunk when he picked out or music. Learning how to jazz run. Laughs as freshman collide with each other.

**Day 5: **Waltzes to Twilight sound track, gets weird looks from volleyball players. Must beat them letter.

**Day 7: **Marched through a parade in the rain. The water was up to our ankles! Poor woodwind instruments! Must save them!

**Day 10: **Watches drum major do thirty push-ups. Must hold all the girls back from tackling him. Stupid girl drum major. Is now thinking assistant director was on crack when he made the show.

**Day 16: **Missed Senior tall-gate party so the marching band could "practice". Flutes drool over drum major… wait… so does every girl there too. Freshman runs into me in jazz run. He falls down because I'm bigger than him.

**Day 18: **Clarinets catches volleyball player snooping around. Volleyball player is now in football players locker room. Haha! She must now deal with the football players dirty socks!

**Day 21: **Assistant director steals all of the flutes plumes and walks off with them. Must get them back before the show!!! Me and my section leader tackled him. Got plumes back!

**Day 24: **Still waiting for the water break. Wondering if the volleyball player is still in the locker room. Laughed when a sax player got hit with a flag. Section leader is hit with a flag. REVENGE!!

**Day 25: **Tuba player hits on freshman color guard. Finds a cut our Orlando Bloom in locker, must steal it!

**Day 29: **Is starting to believe that we won't get a water break. Believes that the band director is losing his mind. Mission accomplished! Too bad it only took three years.


End file.
